Do you want to communicate and collaborate across boundaries? Improve leadership and life results? Learn to watch your emotions without judgment or reaction while focusing on your true/most important goals/objectives. Pie in the sky? Think again, I have done it and my clients have done it for 14+years. You too can achieve similar results by developing a new perspective and skill set (“constructive discontent” that takes you forward stronger, happier and faster. The proof is in the coaching. Developing constructive discontent may be the most powerful thing you can do because it is a 21st C superpower!
I believe passionately in constructive discontent as a critical learned skill that can change lives in a multiplicity of ways. Coaching leadership teams/healthcare professionals many years ago led me to doing a certification in coaching emotional intelligence, consulting and to developing my 3Q philosophy and model. Anything else? Yes, my personal life, career experiences and fascination with all things “neuro” compelled me to find a way to lead, succeed and reduce toxic stress in very difficult, challenging circumstances.
Here are 6 ways to start building a 21C superpower: Constructive Discontent. Read more about 3Q life and leadership skills-building your 3Q edge.
1. Expect change to be stressful but know that you can use them to move forward smarter, faster and happier. Part of accommodating change is doing what you can to get additional help or support, using effective delegation, dedicating daily time to recharge, repurpose and reinvigorate. Find effective ways of putting your brain into an alpha state during the day will help you develop mindfulness, increased focus on what is important and is terrific at lessening stress…
⇨ Here is a quick 2-3-minute exercise I call THE PAUSE that is easy to learn and really effective.
2. Understand and limit crisis orientation. Our brains are automatically set to go into fight or flight in reaction to fear. We live in a world where we are surrounded by negativity, fear, change, and fear of change. Learn to understand when you are going into fight or flight mode so that you can move past the 90-second window of reaction and respond rather than react or flee.
⇨ Develop your ability to move past fight or flight, because you can retrain your brain to refocus while not moving to fight or flight so that you will respond and NOT react.
3. Be gentle with yourself. Get rid of the negative self-talk, the should have, would haves. Notice any signs of stress in your body. Apply self-compassion.
⇨ Take a few moments to breathe deeply because it is impossible to maintain the same level of stress, anxiety or tension after breathing deeply.
4. Resist negativity because it will not take you forward. Develop positive habits of thought, positive coping styles that will allow you to build constructive discontent. Take positive steps to alleviate the pressures, the stressors you can do something about.
⇨ Establish personal boundaries and priorities that work for you not against you. Offset pressures with time for relaxation and activities that bring you pleasure.
5. Develop habits of thought that will help shift your perspective and discover new options. We are social animals, you need social relationships and you need ME time to just reflect and reboot!
⇨ Eliminate burnout factors by strengthening meaningful relationships with others and meaningful time with yourself.|
6. Develop flexibility by simply identifying one rigid pattern of behaviour/coping and turn it around. Observe yourself for one day. Notice how you react to compliments, to demands, to angry co-workers. Develop greater self-awareness (not judgment/ self-judgment) and learn to become the participant observer.
⇨ Pick a habitual or rigid pattern of behavior and turn it around in small consistent ways. Each small step repeated consistently is a power step forward.
Develop constructive discontent, build your 3Q edge before the next change, challenge or negative stressors nips at your heels! Purpose, meaning, contribution are the drivers that build our best selves, best work, best organizations; they are drivers that can be elusive without developing constructive discontent because the velocity of change, challenges, competition will continue to grow, as will the opportunity to transform what is into what CAN be in our lives, workplaces, and world.
⇨ QUESTIONS FOR YOU: How is reactivity impacting your work, your life or the lives of those you lead, work for or love? Are you ready to improve communication and collaboration? Do you want to turn reactivity around? What difference would doing so make in your life? I welcome your comments and or questions on the blog!
© Irene Becker, 2018